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| SAID JULIET TO ROMEO IF YOU WON'T SHAVE GO HOMEO  |
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| SUBSTITUTES AND IMITATIONS SEND 'EM TO YOUR WIFE'S RELATIONS |
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| WHEN YOU DRIVE IF CAUTION CEASES YOU ARE APT TO REST IN PIECES |
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| HE MARRIED GRACE WITH SCRATCHY FACE HE ONLY GOT ONE DAY OF GRACE! |
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| ALL LITTLE RHYMING JOKES ASIDE DON'T BE CONTENT UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED |
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| COLLEGE CUTIE PIGSKIN HERO BRISTLY KISS HERO ZERO |
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| YOU CAN'T REACH 80 HALE AND HEARTY BY DRIVING 80 HOME FROM PARTY |
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| BUY A JAR TAKE IT FROM ME THERE'S SO MUCH IN IT THE LAST HALF'S FREE |
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| HE'S THE BOY THE GALS FORGOT HIS LINE WAS SMOOTH HIS CHIN WAS NOT |
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| ALWAYS REMEMBER ON ANY TRIP KEEP TWO THINGS WITHIN YOUR GRIP YOUR STEERING WHEEL AND |
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| PUT YOUR BRUSH BACK ON THE SHELF THE DARN THING NEEDS A SHAVE ITSELF |
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| GIVE HAND SIGNALS TO THOSE BEHIND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN YOUR MIND |
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| IT'S BEST FOR ONE WHO HITS THE BOTTLE TO LET ANOTHER USE THE THROTTLE |
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| THE BEARDED DEVIL IS FORCED TO DWELL IN THE ONLY PLACE WHERE THEY DON'T SELL |
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| DON'T PASS CARS ON CURVE OR HILL IF THE COPS DON'T GET YOU MORTICIANS WILL |
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| SUBSTITUTES WOULD IRK A SAINT YOU HOPE THEY ARE WHAT YOU KNOW THEY AIN'T |
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| WITH GLAMOUR GIRLS YOU'LL NEVER CLICK BEWHISKERED LIKE A BOLSHEVIK |
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| PRICKLY PEARS AND PICKED FOR PICKLES NO PEACH PICKS A FACE THAT PRICKLES |
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| A SCRATCHY CHIN LIKE BRIGHT PINK SOCKS PUTS ANY ROMANCE ON THE ROCKS |
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| GUYS WHOSE EYES ARE IN THEIR BACKS GET HALOS CROSSING RAILROAD TRACKS |
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| A CHRISTMAS HUG A BIRTHDAY KISS AWAITS THE WOMAN WHO GIVES THIS |
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| JUST SPREAD THEN PAT NOW SHAVE THAT'S THAT |